Daily thoughts - doodling

sketch for today. I like doodling pretty women. With or without a subject or photo to copy. Ive sketching for many years now but mostly just for fun. I dont know how to use my charcoal pencils well yet but hopefully after a few trial and error phases Ill improve. Too bad also my Dad has passed away and I never got around to getting pointers on oil painting. Its a good thing that youtube has a lot of tutorials to help me with my goal.

Daily thoughts - empathy

Quote for the day "some people assume that they know what another person is going through. they give unsolicited advise among others. when all they could do is just leave the person alone and let him deal with it, in his own pace. remember, you cant tell a smoker to quit smoking if youre not a reformed smoker."

among the things i hate most is getting a person's opinion on how to deal with MY life. sometimes, im a little guilty of that. But most of the time, i let my friends deal with their own shit. not that i dont care, but i simply believe that no matter how many times you tell a person to snap out of it, you cant make him. it is still up to him to do that. you can only do so much. also, once is enough. there is no point reiterating the same message over and over. 

lately ive been getting some flack for not getting over my father's death and moving on. the worse part is these people dont even have an idea of what im going through. the nerve to lecture me about moving on when both their folks are still alive. i am completely aware that there are other people in worse situations than i am. that does not make it easier for me though. besides, what right do these bastards have to tell me how i should feel when they honestly have no clue how it feels like. 

annoying i reckon. one day ill be okay but until then, all i can say to these people is FUCK OFF. let me mourn and ill do it until im tired of being sad and then ill move on.

Daily thoughts - coping, relaxing and running

It has been 2 weeks since my Dad passed away. It is a difficult phase. Me and my family are adjusting still. This afternoon we had some people to pray for my dad. They went to our house and afterwards snacks followed. This was the 9th day of a 9day prayer for the dead session. Im not Catholic so I dont really understand the whole ritual. All I know is that it is meant to make the deceased rest in peace.

There was also cake and some delicious food prepared. All my brothers also took time off from their busy schedule to be here.

I miss my Dad a lot and I really want to believe that time will make the pain go away.

Ive been spending the whole week after the burial just hanging out at the house. The funeral has been hectic and it left me beat. I needed to also relax and rejuvenate. Also, I still feel too sad to go out or do anything. Next week I have to get my ass out of the house though and start getting my supplies ready for my small business. Moping around gets tiring after awhile. And like I said, my Dad wouldnt want me to be sad all the time. Im sure he wants me to move on and be happy with my life. Time to also make time to hang out with my family. When I leave next year, it will be a few years before I can come back here to visit.

Ive also gone back to running. Its kinda hard to force myself sometimes to go out that door but I know its always the difficult part. Its like that first 10 minutes when I start jogging too. I notice that after that ten minutes, my legs start rolling effortlessly. I really hope I can keep up with this. I have this big goal in mind when I get to NYC next year.

Overall, the week that went by was good. My cats have also been instrumental in buffering my emotions and keeping my sanity at bay.

I know it will get better each day.