May 19, 2011

Daily thoughts - Getting an NBI Hit isnt fun - part 2

I was little upset last week when I failed to get my NBI clearance the same day. I didnt spend the weekend worrying about it though. I already read the links I found on google and I just had to show up and get the facts from the nbi office. If I had a record then I can always contest it. No sense getting all worked up over it and ruining my day. But I have to admit, that day I got that result, I was a bit of a wreck. I also went to see my pediatrician because I needed a copy of my shot records. Unfortunately she is currently in the USA for a vacation and will be be back on June 3rd. I spent that afternoon hanging out at the mall, I also had a hearty meal and bought some groceries. The day didnt really end bad since I was able to finally get the cats their frontline. I havent had the luck the past few months in getting it. I tried getting in touch with the customer service and the woman named Gladys gave me a heads up on where I could get the Frontline.  Wonderful service!

Thank you Gladys!

I was exhausted and passed out on the bed after taking a shower. When I got up that evening, I looked up what having an NBI Hit meant based on other people experiences.

I surmise that this is the closest description:

After 5 days of waiting, I got up "excited" to start my day last Tuesday May 17. I just wanted to get it over and done with.  I got up around 4AM and despite the short sleep I had, I felt refreshed and ready. I had to ensure first that the baby girls had their food and water bowls full, that the litter box was not too scanty or dirty. Thumper hates using soiled litter. She will show her indignation by shitting and peeing on the floor.

refilled the bowls. the chalk is to ward off ants
I also had to isolate Enchong because he isnt spayed yet and neither are the two female cats Boomer and Thumper. A month ago I caught Enchong about to hump Thumper. Cant have no more kittens because my husband will have a fit. Also I already have 4 cats in tow that Ill be bringing to the states with me.

Dapper, Thumper, Enchong
I also had to give water, food and some bread to the dogs and cats downstairs. I didnt have time to make them rice and sardines that morning. Finally I was out of the house at 630AM. I had to wait for some passengers at the tricycle station and we managed to get to town a little before 7AM. The FX ride to the Santolan MRT took 30 minutes. I was curious to know the time it took for me to get to Monumento aboard both trains. The train ride from Santolan to Doroteo Jose was roughly 25 minutes. The train from Doroteo Jose to Monumento was 13-15 minutes. So in total it was a little over an hour to get from my house to Monumento.

I followed the same route on my way to the mall like last time. This time I didnt have to go through the whole process. I just had to fall in line at the counter that said release with HIT.

NBI Releasing with hit counter (image source)
photo taken using my old phone
The line was actually short when I got there. But I was nervous. The guy ahead of me was told by the lady at the counter to go to the Quality Control section and boy the line there seem to go on forever.

Quality control
When it was my turn, the woman took my receipt and scanned it. I wasnt sure really what to expect. I know I havent violated any laws in the country but the horror stories I read of some people who have namesakes with murder or criminal raps just scared the bejesus out of me.

The printer had a stack of regular (flesh colored) nbi paper, the one for local employment. It looks like this

For local employment (image source)
The one for traveling abroad looks like this (green colored)

for travel abroad (image source)

When the woman put one green nbi paper on top of the stack of regular ones, I knew I was gonna get my clearance that day.

You should have seen that huge smile across my face when I got the printed clearance. Also one guy helped me put my thumbprint on the document, with no additional cost! haha of course there was no wet ones this time but I would have gladly paid that 2PHP. I was very happy. All that worrying was for nothing.

I had palabok at Jollibee before I headed out of the mall. I took the train bound for EDSA (LRT 1 yellow lane) this time. I switched to the MRT 3 (blue lane) and got off at Shaw boulevard to celebrate. I hate the MRT 3 train. It seems that it is always packed. I always feel violated everytime I get off that damn train. But I didnt let that get the best of me.I finally got my precious "no derogatory record" clearance so that minor thing at the train was not enough to ruin my day.

I went to megamall to enjoy the aircon of course. Then I had some snack at Goldilocks which still left me hungry. Then I saw this newly opened restaurant. I found out from one of the waiters that they just opened last Sunday May 15. I had to check it out because I read a post about how good the chicken is at this place. I havent had chicken, pork or beef in the past few months. I was trying to wean myself off from eating meat and I know i have sinned on this day for giving in to this temptation... I tried only one piece because I didnt know whether I could finish all of it. The chicken at I love Chicken Bon Chon will make it doubly hard for me to steer clear from chicken again. The soy garlic was amazingly delicious.

on the wall

dont be fooled by the simple presentation
The iced tea tasted good too. It was real iced tea with some lemon bite to it. It was not the usual iced tea that you made by mixing water with powder form. Not that the latter tastes bad, its just that I miss the taste of real iced tea with lemon or calamansi.
yep thats how i feel now about this place
Before leaving the mall, I thought of checking out a band to replace my wedding ring that was stolen in Singapore. I still feel bad about that because I left my ring in the bathroom and when I came back after a few minutes to get it, it was gone. I lived in that house for 1 year and I never lost anything. I dont want to start accusing the guests who were there that day but I dont think the ring fell in the toilet. The shelf was just too far for the ring to make its way to the toilet bowl. I had to get a cheap replacement for now because I miss wearing my wedding band.
Rose designed ring case for Mother's Day

isnt that cute

Its just  a few more months and Ill be joining my husband and we will shop for a new pair of real wedding bands. But for now I just want to have something to symbolize our being together (weee mushy. hehehe). So I got myself this nice ring and had his name engraved inside it.

silver wedding band

I love my baby!

The best part is I got it for a steal. This nice band will do for the timebeing.

The trip home was unbelievably fast. The fx took only 30-40 minutes to get to town. I got on a tricycle and was unfortunate to sit beside an insensitive guy who wouldnt give me the cushioned part of the seat. Asshole.

But anyway Im glad made it home in one piece although that freaking driver almost made my heart leap out of my chest! He was going too fast and he didnt care there were rocks and humps on the road.

Overall the day was great. And yes Im not GUILTY!! hehehe NBI, peace!

Daily thoughts - Getting an NBI Hit isnt fun - part 1

Last May 12 I got up butt early (actually I was awake from 5PM onwards the previous day) to go to the NBI office at Victory Mall in Caloocan City. I read from the NBI website that I can apply for the clearance at their satellite offices near where I live. However after I talked to my younger brother, I changed my mind. He said he got his document 5 days instead of the regular same day processing. The reason he said is because he got a HIT and he said they didnt have computer technology over at that office. So I thought maybe if I went to the main office, I will get my document within the same day.

I didnt worry too much about getting a "HIT" and I didnt even bother to look up what it meant. One of my officemates told me something about it but I had to ask him again about that.  Prior to going to the NBI office, I spent a great deal of time researching on the internet what requirements I needed to bring with me. I shredded my old clearance before I moved back here last year. I forgot that I would need that when I get a renewal. So based on the website information, I had to start from scratch.

scanned copy of my old clearance in 2007
faq nbi website

The website of the NBI was clear and they even had FAQ's . I didnt see the information on their operating hours though but I relied on the internet to provide me with my needed answers. Most of the articles I read just said GO THERE EARLY.  In my country, it is true that if you want to get things done, you have to go to government agencies as early as possible. Some people even go there like 2 hours before the offices open. Some even camp out the day before. Im not sure if that apply to the NBI though. when I got my SSS at our town, there was already a mile long line and it was not even 7AM.

I also googled how to go about getting to  my destination faster. This link was useful and it provides the operating hours of the MRT, some bits of information about the train, the ticket prices and the route.

I left the house around 6AM. I got on the FX in town and the travel time was 30-40 minutes. I got off at MRT Santolan station (purple line) . From Santolan I took the MRT going to Doroteo Jose. From Doroteo Jose, I transferred to the yellow line and took the Monumento bound train.

The ticket was 15PHP for both rides.

The mall was just 5 minutes (or less) away from the Monumento station. You have to cross the street when you see the first pedestrian lane. You will know where it is because the name of the mall is very prominent and you will see the huge number of people crossing the street also going the same direction.

The entry to the mall was lined with fruit stalls and other people selling black pens and some small sheets
of paper I didnt bother to check. Majority of those who show up at that time (8AM) at the mall are there to get an NBI Clearance. Most of the stalls are still closed and the establishments that were open were Jollibee and other fast food chains only.

You will find the NBI Clearance station at the 5th floor of the Victory Central Mall. You wont miss it since
there are directions at every escalator. If you do get lost (which is unlikely unless youre a complete idiot), just follow the crowd! Just be careful however that they arent a group of thieves or schemers. Around 8m or earlier, most of the lights in the mall are still off so you might not see this huge sign:
5th floor of the mall (image source )
If you do go there during the mall's operating hours and still cannot find the 5th floor and this ginormous banner, I dont know what else to tell you.

Assuming you arent an idiot and you do find the 5th floor, you will see an overwhelming crowd. Yep you will have to join this group of people just follow the STEPS writtens in big bold letters.

Here is a flowchart for lazy dummies like me:

image source
For the detailed step by step :

Here is a snap I found on how the step process will look like when you go to the main nbi office.

image source


Actually the first step for new applicants is to fill out the form. After this, you proceed to the window where they will verify your information and check whether you wrote down the correct details.  Also you have to present a valid id. In my case I had my passport and company ID with me but they just asked for one valid ID.


    1. Company I.D
    2. Current School I.D
    3. Voter’s I.D.
    4. Postal I.D
    5. Driver’s License
    6. P.R.C License
    7. Valid Passport
    8. Valid ATM Card with Picture
    9. GSIS e-Card
    10. SSS I.D with Picture
    11. A.C.R or Alien Certificate of Registration (for Aliens)
    12. ***In the absence of any of the above, a birth certificate issued by NSO may be presented.
  2. For Renewal:
    a.)   Personal Copy of the old NBI Clearance issued not earlier than 1994. Photocopy is not accepted.
    b.)   In the absence of the old NBI clearance, applicant is required to accomplish a new Application Form (Fingerprint Card).
    For New Applicant: Valid ID of any of the following:
  4. Purpose of NBI Clearance Amount
    A. Naturalization, Cancelation on ACR, Repatriation Php 415.00
    B. Change of Name, Business License, NFA, SEC, TBC, Adoption, POEA, PRA Requirement, Permit to Carry Firearm. Php 165.00
    C. Travel Abroad, Immigration Requirement, Visa Seaman, Seaman’s Book, TBC for RTO, Marriage Requirement. Php 115.00
    D. Local Employment, Customs Pass ID, Enlistment AFP, DND, DOT Requirement, ID Purposes and Other Requirement. Php 115.00

I spent a lot of time at Step 2 because I didnt know that there was an automated payment kiosk where you can pay one 100 PHP bill and theree 5PHP coins. The long queue took almost an hour of my time. So to those reading this, thats a tip! Check out this guy's site for further information on the automated payment system.


After making the payment, bring your receipt and form over to the fingerprinting station. Warning, bring wet tissues if possible and make sure you can access it easily without having to dig through your bag with inked fingers. Why? because the guys doing this part of the process will ask you to give them 2PHP!! for what? their effort and that itty bitty piece of wet one. 2 pesos is nothing i know but damn, imagine how many people get clearances in a day?! i heard that some years ago, they used to ask for 5PHP for it. If you want to be generous, go ahead just let them rip you off one last time. I always try to justify my stance on this, its not the money its the principle! 2pesos is not a lot but hey that service should be free!


My photo came out really bad because I didnt know where to look since Im legally blind. I had to remove my glasses after the guy said in his stern tone, pakialis po ang salamin sa mata (please remove your glasses!). The man taking photos seem to have issues that morning because he grumpily commanded everyone around to look at the camera, dont smile and hurry up. I know it must be a stressful job they have and its really common to encounter rude and obnoxious government employees. I dont blame them. The job seem taxing. But nevertheless I always want to smile when someone takes a photo of me. Denied.


I dont know if it was due to step 4 but I was asked to come back on May 17 2011 because my records show I have a HIT. The sad face yielded a not so favorable result. What the hell does a hit mean???
I got mixed emotions when I saw that huge RED stamp at the back of my receipt. I honestly got worried because I remember a friend telling me before that he once lined up for his clearance and he also got a hit. The namesake or the guy he shared the same name with happened to be a murderer who was on the loose. WTF!! I left the mall feeling like shit because aside from the fact I hadnt slept, I had to wait for 5 days (since it was 3 business days + weekend). That's 5 days wondering what on earth I may have done for them to say I have a DAMN HIT! Prolonging the agony so to speak! I started running some crazy ideas in my head.

The paranoid that I am, yes I spent the evening googling all information I could get on what having a HIT means. I came up with the following results :

  • You have a criminal record
  • You changed your surname (for women who got married)
  • You have the same name with someone who has a criminal record
  • The person checking your record just got lazy
  • Another person has the same name as you
  • Youre ugly, your mugshot looks suspicious -WTF.
  •  You have some impending records with government offices, legal liabilities and contract obligations ( source)
  • better yet just google NBI hit
Okay if you are reading this, and you also got a HIT, Im not gonna tell you to relax because I would be a hypocrite if I said that. I honestly didnt, or couldnt, not for the entire evening. It is hard to imagine I can have an existing criminal or civil case since I havent even been in the country for 3years! BUT YEAH TRY NOT TO PANIC!

This guy wasnt so lucky. He got a HIT. When he came back to get his clearance, he received this document instead:

image source

Aahh the beauty and horrors of google. Ignorance is indeed bliss.Finding out all these information didnt really ease my worry.

Damn you NBI. You gave me another sleepless night. I almost cried. Bwiseett!

May 17, 2011

Daily thoughts - A good dinner and a semi goodnight sleep

I went to town today to get supplies for me and my baby girls. I bought another bag of meow mix for them, this time I got them the original choice flavor. The price had gone up. Last month I got the 1.5kilo bag for only 237php. This time the price shot up to a whooping 285php. According to the store clerk, the price last month was wrong. I doubt that though. I guess they just realized that more people were purchasing the Meow Mix since it was way cheaper than Friskies and Whiskas. Actually if Budget Lane wasnt out of the way, Id always get Meow Mix for the babies.

Well a few additional pesos is okay as long as my cats are happy. My cat Dapper really loves this brand. The moment I opened the bag, she was just all over it.

Dapper on food coma
After feeding the other pets in the house (4 dogs, 8 cats, 4 cats in my room), I went on to prepare dinner. 
My eldest brother came over for a visit. He picked me up at the grocery store. When we got home he napped for an hour. While he was asleep I made a simple dish for him, me, my younger brother and his wife.

I bought these huge shrimps at 250php for less than half a kilo. Yeah it was pretty expensive but I havent had these for quite awhile. Plus I wanted our dinner to be special since it has been 5 months since I saw my older brother. He is very busy and travels a lot. Im sure Ill miss having dinner with my brothers once I leave so every opportunity to be with them is precious to me.

cooking em shrimps
My brother gave me instructions on how to cook the shrimps. He told me to saute some garlic and onion in butter. Once the garlic has turned golden brown, throw in the shrimps. After the color has turned orange, put some pepper and a little salt and pour the pineapple juice. Simmer. It was very simple and quick yet it turned out really good. I ended up eating a lot too and I was in bed by 10PM also in food coma like my cat Dapper.

that and lots of rice = heaven
I slept soundly but occasionally had to get up to give snack to my cats and also use the bathroom. I got up early around 4AM though and couldnt sleep anymore. I have a busy schedule today and have to run some errands. But yeah I had a good sleep albeit short. Dapper seems happy also with her dinner and the grocery I got for us. Well the soda and the rest is mine. Dapper and the other critters can have the meowmix and the milk.

The fat happy (but sometimes bitchy)cat

May 16, 2011

Daily thoughts - Cyberbullies

At one point in everyone's life, one has experienced being bullied. I have experienced it as a kid and even as an adult. When I was in gradeschool, I remember being picked on for being small and scrawny. Someone even went as far as dumping my packed meal in the trashcan just for kicks.

I grew up with four brothers and in our house, you have to assert what you want, otherwise you wont be heard. Most of the time, I had to try doubly hard to be noticed, to the point Id have to elbow or punch my brother's face if he was wrong or is being a tattletale. Naturally I would get the attention, but also Id get some scolding or spanking if my folks deemed it necessary. More often than not though, theyd let it slide because they would assume that Im just a little harmless girl. Yeah right.

The saying small but terrible is what I was aptly described by the teacher who sent me to the principal's office. This was after I shoved another kid's head in the trashcan and force her to eat my lunch. Yep, it was that kid who thought my food belonged in the wastebasket.

What makes us bullies? 

I dont remember bullying anyone when I was a kid. As an adult, I have had several opportunities to take part in bullying other people but I just refused to do so. Its not that I want to be self righteous about it. Its simply because I know how terrible it is to be on the receiving end. If someone has erred me and still would attempt to harass or ridicule me, I often retaliate on my own. I don't invite other people like friends, sorority sisters and fraternity brothers to help me do the dirty job. I deal with it myself.

Bullying someone is just wrong. It is obviously something a coward would do. Even as a kid I knew this and I say from having experienced it a lot of times that I refused to subject anyone to the same kind of humiliation and agony.

the lovable wimp George Mcfly

From what I read, children who were bullied either become bullies themselves or help those who are victims of bullying. I would say everyone has that choice to either be the former or the latter. I hate it when I hear some people say they were bullied to becoming bullies. If you cant beat em join em sort of thing.  Thats a load or horsecrap and I disagree with that. Unless someone points a gun to your head and make you eat your own shit, that doesnt make you any less guilty.

I read this great site  and Ill just lift the ones that I find spot on and relevant to this post. If you still want to dig through the whole lot of descriptions and even types of bully, you will find a wealth of information on the said article. However I wont be discussing it here since its very (ho-hum) LONG.

Why do people bully?

The purpose of bullying is to hide inadequacy. 

anyone who chooses to bully is admitting their inadequacy, and the extent to which a person bullies is a measure of their inadequacy. Bullies project their inadequacy on to others:

a) to avoid facing up to their inadequacy and doing something about it;
b) to avoid accepting responsibility for their behaviour and the effect it has on others, and, 
c) to reduce their fear of being seen for what they are, namely a weak, inadequate and often incompetent individuals, and,
d) to divert attention away from their inadequacy
Bullying is present behind all forms of harassment, discrimination, prejudice, abuse, persecution, conflict and violence. When the bullying has a focus (eg race or gender) it is expressed as racial prejudice or harassment, or sexual discrimination and harassment, and so on. When the bullying lacks a focus (or the bully is aware of the Sex Discrimination Act or the Race Relations Act), it comes out as pure bullying; this is an opportunity to understand the behaviours which underlie almost all reprehensible behavior. I believe bullying is the single most important social issue of today.


is a form of abuse, and bullies often go to great lengths to keep their targets quiet, using threats of disciplinary action, dismissal, and gagging clauses. What bullies fear most is exposure of their inadequacy and being called publicly to account for their behavior and its consequences. This makes sense when you remember that the purpose of bullying is to hide inadequacy, and people who bully to hide their inadequacy are often incompetent.

A bully is a person who

  • has never learnt to accept responsibility for their behaviour
  • wants to enjoy the benefits of living in the adult world, but who is unable and unwilling to accept the responsibilities that are a prerequisite for being part of the adult world.
  • abdicates and denies responsibility for their behaviour and its consequences (abdication and denial are common features of bullying)
  • is unable and unwilling to recognise the effect of their behaviour on others
  • does not want to know of any other way of behaving
  • is unwilling to recognise that there could be better ways of behaving.

Bullying is obsessive and compulsive; the serial bully has to have someone to bully and appears to be unable to survive without a current target.

Despite the facade that such people put up, bullies have low self-confidence and low self-esteem, and thus feel insecure. Low self-esteem is a factor highlighted by all studies of bullying. Because such people are inadequate and unable to fulfil the duties and obligations of their position (but have no hesitation in accepting salary), they fear being revealed. This fear of exposure often borders on paranoia

Bullies are seething with resentment, bitterness, hatred and anger, and often have wide-ranging prejudices as a vehicle for dumping their anger onto others. Bullies are driven by jealousy and envy. Rejection (which cannot be assuaged) is another powerful motivator of bullying.

Bullies are people who have not learned the lesson of consequences, ie that if they behave well there are good consequences (reward), but if they behave badly there are bad consequences (restriction, sanction, punishment, etc). Since childhood, bullies have learnt that they can avoid the unpleasant consequences of bad behaviour through the instinctive response of denial, blame, and feigning victimhood.

Detailed profile of the serial bully

The serial bully also:
  • is selfish and acts out of self-interest, self-aggrandisement and self-preservation at all times; everything can be traced back to the self - even the seemingly innocuous "How are you today?" translates to "Is there any comeback on me as to how you're feeling today?"
  • is insensitive, often callously indifferent to the needs of others, and especially when others are experiencing difficulty (vulnerability is a major stimulant to the serial bully)
  • is incapable of reciprocity, ie unable and unwilling to reciprocate any positive gesture
  • sees anyone attempting to be conciliatory as a sucker to be exploited
  • uses criticism, humiliation, etc in the guise of addressing shortfalls in performance - in reality, these are for control and subjugation, not for performance enhancement
  • appears to be intelligent but often performs poorly in academic or professional roles, despite appearances; the intelligence is focused exclusively on deviousness, cunning, scheming, manipulation, evasiveness, deceptiveness, quick-wittedness, craftiness, self-centredness, etc
  • may be passive aggressive, blowing hot and cold, superficially cooperative but motivated by retribution, stubborn, uncoachable, use their intelligence to excuse and justify their behaviour, and they detest anyone more competent than themselves - which is most people
  • is unable to maintain confidentiality, often breaching it with misrepresentation, distortion and fabrication
  • distorts, twists, concocts and fabricates criticisms and allegations, and abuses the disciplinary procedures - again, for control and subjugation, not for performance enhancement
  • uses gossip, back-stabbing or spreads rumours to undermine, discredit and isolate
  • is untrustworthy and unable to trust others - this partly explains the compulsion for excessive monitoring
  • is drawn to positions of power and abuses that power
  • is autocratic and dictatorial, often using phrases like "you shouldn't..." or "you ought to..."
  • may appear superficially competent and professional at their job, but behind the facade is inadequate, inept, poor at their job, often incompetent; survives only by plagiarising other people's work, and being carried by those they bully
  • wraps himself or herself in a flag or tradition and usurps others' objectives, thereby nurturing compliance, reverence, deference, endorsement and obeisance; however, such veneration and allegiance is divisive, being a corruption for personal power which exhibits itself through the establishment of a clique, coterie, cabal, faction, or gang
  • is a divisive and disruptive influence, their departments are dysfunctional and inefficient, and their behavior prevents staff from performing their duties
  • is unusually susceptible to minor slights or perceived slights and bears grudges which may be acted on years later when the transgressor can be denied promotion or downsized in the bully's "reorganisation"
  • gains gratification from provoking people into emotional or irrational responses but is quick to claim provocation by others when challenged
  • has a short-term focus and often cannot think or plan ahead more than 24 hours
  • appears to have a short, selective memory and often cannot or will not remember what they said, did, or committed to more than 24 hours ago - but is always able to remember your faults, often from years ago
  • the serial bully seems to live in a bubble of the present and when challenged will spontaneously make things up; the bully genuinely seems to believe the fabrication; from a psychiatric viewpoint this could be called confabulation; from a moral viewpoint, it's called lying
  • is often like a child who has never grown up
  • exhibits immature behaviour and poor manners
  • has poor communication skills, poor interpersonal skills, poor social skills
  • often misses social cues
  • has poor language skills, and uses almost exclusively negative language with few or no positive words; is often limited to parroting fad phrases and regurgitating the latest management jargon
  • has poorly-defined moral and ethical boundaries
  • acts out of gratification and self-interest only, often using and hiding behind the employer
  • extrovert bullies tend to be shouters and screamers, are highly visible, and bully from the front
  • extrovert bullies can be charismatic and seem to be able to bewitch people into following and supporting them
  • introvert bullies - the most dangerous types - tend to sit in the background and recruit others to do the bullying for them - when dealing with this type of bullying, identify the arch-bully in the background and focus single-mindedly on that person - the others will melt away
  • is a killjoy, a wet blanket, is unreceptive and finds fault with or pours scorn on other people's ideas and suggestions, but may regurgitate them later claiming to be the originator
  • often has a hatred of a sector of society, eg ethnic minorities, disabled people, etc
  • often has a hatred of certain professional groups, eg psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, counsellors, therapists
  • is unimaginative and lacks the skills of creativity and innovation
  • rarely has any ideas of his or her own; tends to regurgitate what others (especially superiors) say rather than use own thinking
  • is a plagiarist, steals other people's work - and the credit for it
  • has a writing style that is disjointed, lacks flow and consistency, tends to make contradictory statements, and has the feel of a young teenager trying to write like a grown-up (apologies to teenagers)
  • often uses false praise or praise which is inappropriate to the circumstances; this is partly to make the bully feel good, partly for the benefit of witnesses, partly poor judgement, partly immaturity, and partly for control and subjugation to throw their target off guard
  • is unable and unwilling to value others and their contributions and achievements; is often scornful
  • shows discrepancy in valuing tasks, deliberately devaluing the work and achievements of others; when the bully does a certain job, it's onerous, difficult and the bully needs lots of recognition; when their target does the same job it's trivial, of little or no value, not worth mentioning
  • is ungrateful and rarely (if ever) says "thank you" or "well done" (except, perhaps, if impressionable witnesses are present)
  • is frequently sarcastic, especially in contexts where sarcasm is inappropriate and unprofessional
  • is unable to assess the importance of events and tasks, often making an unnecessary fuss over trivia whilst ignoring important or urgent things
  • exhibits duplicity and hypocrisy, eg says one thing one day and denies it the next
  • often has an overwhelming (and unhealthy) need to feel recognised and wanted
  • is fastidious, often has an unhealthy obsession with cleanliness or orderliness
  • is insincere and false
  • has never learnt the skills of and has little concept of empathy; may use charm and mimicry to compensate
  • attempts at empathy are superficial, amateur, often inappropriate or inappropriately high, and based on mimicry rather than genuine concern - and are for the purpose of making the bully look and feel good, especially in front of witnesses
  • when required to show empathy, eg someone is in distress or needs help, responds either with impatience and aggression (if no-one else is present), or with a fulsome and effusive attempt at empathy (if witnesses are present)
  • is unwilling to apologise for mistakes, except occasionally when witnesses are present, then the apology is fulsome, artificial, and inappropriate - but sufficiently convincing for peers and superiors
  • is quick to blame others
  • is uncharacteristically fulsome and effusive, especially in front of witnesses - but hollow and insincere
  • is devious and manipulative (especially female bullies)
  • is spiteful and vengeful (ditto)
  • uses aggression almost exclusively but claims to be assertive (assertiveness is about recognising and respecting the rights of oneself and others)
  • has unpredictable mood swings, blows hot and cold, often suddenly and without warning
  • is inconsistent in their judgement, often overruling, ignoring or denying what they said previously
  • is inflexible and unable to evaluate options and alternatives
  • is unforgiving and often seizes on and exploits others' mistakes or perceived mistakes
  • is quick to anger and often has an unpredictable temper
  • can be unpredictably and disarmingly pleasant, especially when you are unmasking them in front others - this plays on people's sympathies and is a use of guilt for manipulation and control
  • is often humourless and emotionally flat; attempts at humour are often shallow and superficial
  • is insecure and sees others as a threat; the threat seems to comprise a fear of exposure of inadequacy, and often borders on paranoia; the individual may have a paranoid personality
  • is uncommunicative and uncooperative, and is evasive when asked for information (eg by subordinates)
  • has no listening skills, ignores and overrules you; it can be like talking to a brick wall
  • makes inappropriate eye contact, either too little (or none at all) or too much (staring)
  • often reported as having an evil stare, sometimes with eyes that appear black rather than coloured
  • is unable to sustain a mature adult conversation (you may only realise this in retrospect)
  • sees people as objects (in the same way that child sex abusers and rapists see their targets as objects for their gratification)
  • often displays interpersonal behavior that is ill-advised, especially with a sexual overtone, eg invasion of intimate zone, gestures or comments which include inappropriate sexual references or innuendo, being inappropriately intimate with clients, being too friendly too soon, etc
  • lacks a conscience and shows no remorse
  • finds ritual important and comforting, and frequently indulges in ritual and ritualistic activity
  • often forms or joins lots of committees to look busy and important but never achieves anything of significance or value
  • gains gratification from bullying people by imposing rules, regulations, laws etc and insisting on adherence thereto, regardless of their relevance or efficacy
  • often exhibits a psychopathic personality, the main features of which are:

  • an unwillingness to conform to the rules of society: thinks that rules, regulations, procedures and the law do not apply to them - but insists that others adhere rigidly
  • an inability to tolerate minor frustrations
  • a tendency to act impulsively, recklessly and randomly
  • an inability to form stable relationships (the bully's private life is usually a mess)
  • an inability or unwillingness to learn from past experience, however unpleasant - this "learning blindness" is a key feature of the serial bully and differentiates the serial bully from the unwitting bully; this inability to learn seems to be concentrated in the area of interpersonal, social, communication and behavioural skills; closer inspection suggests that the bully does learn from experience, but only how be more secretive and how to be more skilled at evading accountability

Other adjectives to describe the serial bully include cunning, conniving, scheming, calculating, cruel, sadistic, ruthless, treacherous, premeditated, exploitative, pernicious, malevolent, obnoxious, opportunist, unconcerned, etc.

There you go! Yeah its a lot and the website I read has more but I just highlighted those that I find  obvious and common to the usual bully you encounter nowadays.

I experienced being bullied as an adult. It happened almost 2 years ago. It was a minor annoying event, just like shit being stuck at the bottom of your shoe that has to be meticulously scraped and brushed off. Fortunately, I am resilient and the fact that I have been through so many difficult experiences in the past that such harassment didnt faze me.

I was insulted by a hoity toity ugly dwarf and her minions and was even called a maid, ugly, a nondegree holder and poor. I refuse to pander to her feelings of self-importance though since its a waste of time. I  find it funny that they probably think their government is an idiot though for allowing me to work in their country if I did not finish college. Ah the stupidity of some people truly amuse me. They should add one of these buses for SBS Transit to accommodate these kind of indviduals. 

Trademark of a classic bully is they would usually incite for their rabid friends or followers to do the dirty deed for them since they are too much of a wimp to handle it alone.  Let them keyboard warriors enjoy that veil of anonymity to the hilt.  

I think the most logical way of dealing with these kind of cowards is to just avoid or ignore them. Reacting to them, based on my experience, only adds fuel to the fire. Why try to explain or prove yourself to morons? You are crazy to even consider that. If their head bully said 2+2 = 5, the idiot followers will believe it. no sense defending yourself. its not accepting defeat but simply knowing that explaining even basic math to a bunch of monkeys is futile.

May 11, 2011

Daily thoughts - Boomer update

It has been 4 months since I wrote a post about my blind cat Boomer. She has grown up to be as normal as my other cats. She can find her way to the litter box and her food and water bowls. Here are some adorable photos of my baby girl over the past few months.

November 2010

December 2010

with her mum
after I "adopted" her  and Enchong and let them live in my room

a toy I got for then last Christmas
sharing her bed with Enchong
January 2011

Enchong free bed at last

laying on laundry

sharing a hand me down bed with Enchong

February 2011

utilizing my niece's soft toy bag as nap spot

shredding my yoga mat

March 2011

her "nightspot"
she likes to lay down on soiled laundry
April 2011

music box

yes i love mummy's dirty pants
May 2011

zzz on my toolbox

discovering how wonderful it is to sleep on a human bed

Thumper and Boomer sharing my bed

i hope mummy wont kick me out of the bed!
wow this spot is really very soft i feel so sleepy alread...zzzzzzz
This June Boomer will have her enucleation procedure. The surgery has been deferred several times because the vet said Boomer was too young. Last February, an emergency hospitalization for my other cat Thumper  wiped out the funds that was supposedly for Boomer's surgery. But I was able to put away some money meant for her upcoming operation. I just hope I find the right veterinary clinic. I was told that the Vets in Practice in Mandaluyong City is the best clinic out there.

A comment from one of the readers:

im sorry about the kitten's situation
but you should not have to wait 1 week for a doctor to come back.
bring the cat to Vets in Practice Animal Hospital. They are the best vet in the entire Philippines with many senior vets with experience abroad. They will do what is necessary right away and can give you the best advice. Waiting will only worsen the situation.

They are located along Maysilo St, Mandaluyong City.

The operation there might even be cheaper or they might have a better solution. Please bring the cat there asap. Ask for Dr. Donato or one of the senior vets.

VETS IN PRACTICE ANIMAL HOSPITAL is located at #63 Maysilo Circle, Plainview, Mandaluyong City (Just across Tapa King, right at the corner of Boni Avenue extension; around the Mandaluyong City Hall). They can be contacted at (02)5311581-83 or             (02)5337965      .

Im going there tomorrow so I can make a confirmation on their rates and also hopefully they have frontline spot on treatment. I havent had any luck finding the one specifically for cats.