Oct 20, 2009

my real love

it was 5 years ago when i quit and told myself that i hated what i was doing. i found a job and also moved out of the country. during that period also i did some "soul searching". sought meaning and purpose to my life . i thought the big bucks would make me happy. for awhile i admit it did. it was good to also be able to afford a few things that could make those people i love happy.

i ultimately got tired of just working and earning but not really achieving something on a personal level (if you know what i mean). i felt no fulfillment in what i did.the pay is good but i felt that there is more i can do out there and hopefully its not about just money. i wish to be able to impart of what ive learned all these years and share or use it to alleviate the condition of others. sounds ambitious? kind of. but all i want is to do something that could improve the quality of life of some people, even when they are obviously in pain or there isnt much anyone can do for them..

i miss my old "routine".

when i quit my "routine" 5 years ago to have that freedom, i felt excited to try something else uncertain. even if the other route doesnt hold any promise for me. i wanted out. i was bored.

it was like being in an 8 year relationship and deciding to end it. i needed a breather.

i did have my 5 year of so called freedom. i have no regrets and looking back, i honestly wouldnt have it any other way. the experiences, both good and bad, have made me more firm in my goal in life now. also, the years i was away made me more mature in my outlook in life. im also more appreciative of the things i used to take for granted.

i never stopped thinking of what i had given up. i tried but i just felt that although i was happy there seemed a void that could not be filled by just a high paying job.

it felt like a first love i never got over.

after having discerned on this for quite some time now, i have decided to pursue my true love. yeah its a corny analogy but thats the closest i can think of=).

i am going back.

this isnt going to be easy but ive always been up for such a challenge . ive always placed a high value on things i had a hard time pursuing. so here it goes.

tomorrow is the first day of "bringing back the old memories".

Lesson 1. Biochemistry


  1. Sounds like you're getting ready to learn about blowing things up.

  2. yeah i intend to blow up germs. hehe


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