When I grow up

I bet when you were a kid people asked you this all the time. Im pretty sure also that your answer would be any of the following: doctor, lawyer, engineer, architect, actor, soldier.

Whoever wanted to be a waitress, a telemarketer, seamstress or even a plumber or garbage collector. Let us be honest with ourselves. There is a point in our lives that we yearn to be someone of those I mentioned earlier. But how often do we really get what we want, or should I say be what we want to be?
No one I knew in high school ever said they wanted to be in customer service or do some crummy job like clearing or waiting on tables. Moreso fixing pipes or toilets and worse collecting rubbish. It must be a tough job to collect garbage or clean toilets. Hell sometimes we cant even stand the smell of our own piss or shit. Let alone clean someone else's right?

I am one of those many people who dreamt of being a doctor. I was groomed at a young age to "like" the Sciences. I had play doctor toys and I eventually became fascinated by the Human System and all the things it can do at even the most minute level. College was expensive and we were poor but my folks put forth a huge sum of their savings to see me through college. I sort of help them too by joining the varsity track team and getting at least 50% discount. The whole BS Biology course would only take 3 years supposedly because the University I went to is on a trimester system. Still I graduated a year and 1 trimester late. I always flunked my thesis. I actually slacked around during the last year of my college because I lost my interest in Science.

After graduation I took off and rented my own apartment. I had to escape. I knew my mom was going to hound me and persuade me to go to Medical School. I was exactly right. She and my grandmother desperately wanted me to be a doctor. Im sure they had good intentions. But also I know how important it was to their reputation in the province. There are only 3 possible things worth being proud of in my mother's province. Being a doctor, Being extremely wealthy, living overseas. I will go into that issue in a future entry.

I refused to go to Medical School despite all the bribe my mom can offer. I hated the idea of going back to school and having to rely on my folks for money again. I worked for 3 years and managed to save up enough money to afford a ticket to go abroad. I did get into the wrong circle of people around `99. I lost all the money I have saved up in 3 years. It was gone in 3 months. I wont discuss it now but it is one of the things I am very embarrassed to talk about to this day. I was broke and ashamed. My family couldnt believe what was happening to me. The only last resort to resurrect my image and restore my Mother's faith in me. I told her I wanted to go to Medical School.

The story about my being in Medical School would take more than a day or even a month. It was 5 years of my life. I will have to write a separate blog and categorize it under that topic. But for this post I just want to say I didnt finish Medical school because of reasons that I prefer to keep to myself for now.

Ive been working for almost 5 years now and its not exactly the life I have dreamed of. It is far from being called glamorous or fulfilling. I should regret leaving Medical School when I was only 8 months short of getting a Medical Degree. It may come as a shock to most people but I am glad I made the right choice.

At this point in my life, I do know what I really want. Its not going to be easy to achieve it. Nevertheless, this experience of working and struggling to fend for myself and my new family has been a very humbling and enriching period for me. I would not have it any other way. I have also gained a higher respect for those people who work at the customer service level as well as those doing the odd jobs. Nobody or few dreams of being in this line of work but some people have to make a living. Some really have to do it.

Just think of this way, Doctors or Lawyers wont take your order at Mc Donalds. Neither would an architect or actor cook your fries or grill your steak or serve your meal and bring you the tab. You dont call the bank and expect the CEO to answer your questions on your latest bank transaction and what that $2 overdraft fee is for.

Thank God for customer service people. Thank God for plumbers, servers, garbage collectors. If they were not around, I am certain it would be a chaotic world.

I know we all have dreams and since it free, it would not hurt for it to be GRAND.
But sometimes things work out differently for us when we literally get older.

I wish to emphatize and emphasize at the same time that I am glad I got into customer service. I am proud to have been able to support myself, my dad, my family and also upgrade my skills in case My Dream Job does not work out. (Honestly though I do hope it works out). There is also a time we have to be practical and not just ideal.

I still have a lot of growing up to do.Whether or not I achieve my lifelong dream is not truly that important like I thought it would be. What is important for me now is to enjoy the ride.

I have a clear destination in mind but that does not mean I will not take the time to enjoy the other scenic spots I see along the way.

I just wont wait to be happy until I get to where I want to be. Who knows, the fork in the road may be the best thing that could happen even if it turns out to be a detour.

I just hope it does not end up like that movie I watched called Wrong Turn . That would really suck.