Jul 30, 2010

Daily thoughts - on accepting what i cannot change and moving on

It has been almost 2 months since I left my job and veered towards the direction of uncertainty. So far I dont regret it. I dont know if my stance on this will change a few days, week or months from now but right at this moment Im honestly enjoying my freedom. The past few weeks have not been easy. Im taking care of my sick Dad and also helping spruce up the house a bit. Its really a pain in the neck. My dad is stubborn and the house needs constant cleaning. There are 3 kittens, 1 old female cat, 1 tomcat and 1 mommy cat. Originally, there were 2 mommy cats. But the siamese mommy cat has not come home since she was bullied out by the other mommy cat named Pretty.

Pepper and her brood. The gray cat Alejandro is Pretty's baby.

Pepper with her kids Maki and Squid (gray one is Alejandro)

So what's the story with the cats? Well I bought them a litter box a year ago. I found out it was appropriated for something else. Someone used it as a paintpan. Its really annoying because buying an actual paint pan would have been cheaper. Well since there is no litter box, the cats take a dump wherever they please. Yes it sounds nasty and it truly is. We have to leave newspapers on the areas they use as toilet, throw it out the next day and mop the floor. Its really taxing. The solution to buy another litter box would have been the best option but its unfortunate that the people in the house seem to use the stuff we buy not for its actual purpose. I found the lid of our automatic rice cooker being used as a cover to heat a pan the other day. One baking pan almost cracked because it was used to boil water. These are just among a few of the weird things I have to deal with on a daily basis. I think there are just too many animals in the house to begin with. The litter box here is not cheap. If I bought another one and it is used for something else, I might have another fit. For the meantime, while we have not moved to another house, we are just making this huge sacrifice of cleaning up the house and putting up with idiosyncracies of some people we live with. And of course our cats dont know the concept of family planning. I will have to have them neutered one of these days.

The situation at home is a little tense but bearable. We are living comfortably and we dont have to pay an astronomical figure for rent. We used to rent a room in Singapore which if converted to our local currency here, would make me afford to live in a 2 bedroom condominium. At least now, I can save my money for the rainy days and also I can buy what we need in the house and take more trips here or abroad. It is also a relief to not have to worry of losing a job and being sent back to my country. Although I normally dont hop from one job to another, it would be great to always have an option.

I have also come to accept that I am now just a visitor in our house and I cannot impose change no matter how genuine my intentions are. This is not my house and in a few years I will also be leaving. Although I want to make it look nicer, I cannot really force the issue if the people living in it does not welcome it. I have tried my best and Im happy to surrender and just let things be. Its more liberating that way.

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