Im still reeling over the events this past few days. We buried my Dad on October 5 at 3:00PM. It was a very sad, emotional moment for me and my family. He died on Thursday morning 1045 am September 30, on my brother's birthday. He has been bedridden for a month and we have been taking care of him at home. It has been one tough month and somehow I feel some comfort knowing he does not have to suffer anymore. I know in time, the pain may go away. Right now however the feeling is raw and its still hard to imagine that I wont see him anymore when I go downstairs and check his room. I have been aware from the start that this day will arrive. I remember saying 2 weeks ago that I might have to face the inevitable. This is that dreadful day.
Seeing him on his deathbed was disturbing and heart wrenching. There he was my hero, skin and bones, helpless, lifeless. I tried my best to give what I could when he was alive but I still feel some guilt thinking I could have done better. But its pointless to brood over it now since he is gone. Time for me to accept it and move on. It is going to be one uphill climb from today but I want to make the most out of my life because I know that's what my Dad wants. He surely he does not want to see me unhappy and mourning forever. I know that wherever he is now, he is happy and at peace. No more suffering nor pain.
Its going to be really hard to live each day knowing I wont see him again. But I know this separation is temporary. One day we will be reunited. I will cherish all the great times we had and I am grateful to the Lord for giving me such a wonderful Father.
Some testimonials about my Dad that I wish to share:
FROM MY HUSBAND
I didn't get to know my father-in-law, Eddie very well, but during the short time I did know him, he left a lasting impression. Eddie was the kind of guy that always had a smile on his face and usually a story to share as well. It seemed like he enjoyed nothing more than sitting around the dinner table, talking about life, places we'd been, and where we hoped to go. It was obvious that he cared about his family, and he made me feel like a part of that family as well. I regret not being able to spend more time with him, but I'll always remember him fondly. May he rest in peace and may his memory continue to bring us comfort for years to come.
From his siblings:
FROM RANNY
Eddie is my older brother & when we were growing up I looked up to him as my here as he was very smart & knew a lot of things. I learned many good things from him. As kids we were together a lot playing,going to different places where we had a lot of fun. Of course wewere in some minor troubles sometimes but our dear parents were always there to discipline us. From being kids, teenagers to full manhood, we were very close. He was a kind, patient & ideal brother than anybody can be proud of. I am really very sorry that I am not able to attend today's services. I will miss you very much, my dear brother. God bless you.
FROM APRIL:
Eddie & I were very close too. Being a girl & older than him, he did not play with me as he did with our youngest brother Ranny. He did spent a lot of time with either Ranny or Rudy (our oldest brother). He was a wonderful brother who did nice things for people who are dear to him. Of course he had his faults or shortcomings as he is only human but he always tried his best to be a good son, brother, husband, father, grandfather as well as a friend. I very much regret being absent on this "occasion" but I feel that I am there spiritually. I miss my brother very much. May you rest in peace & God bless your soul, my dearest brother.
FROM RUDY:
Being the oldest sibling, all I can say is that we will all miss you. We all love you. You will be in heaven with God so no more physical sufferings or agony, dear brother Eddie.
FROM ME:
I wish to remember my Father as the kind-hearted man who loves animals, action movies, painting, sketching, current events good food and conversation. He is very talented. I wrote an entry months ago with some photos of his few paintings. What I cannot forget about my Dad is his generosity. He never fails to bring me and my brothers special treats everytime he comes home from work. Even around the time he no longer worked, he still maintained that very thoughtful trait of his. His kindness extended to our pets at home too. He would even use the last money he has just to make sure he gets us something from the store, a chocolate bar, pringles, candies, fruits, anything just to see us smile. He taught me that in this life, you should value your family over money or material things. He always reminded us that when the time comes that he wont be around anymore, we should not forget to help our siblings when they're having problems. And he would reiterate, because family is everything. No success, money ,or any job will ever equate to the kind of happiness a family can give you.
I will miss my Dad very much. He will always be the greatest Dad and my Hero. I love you Daddy.
What a lovely eulogy of your father.He is at peace now. I too lost my Father 28 yrs. ago and my Mother 25 yrs. ago. They live in my heart. It does get easier with time but you will always see them etched in your mind and be reminded of them daily. May you have comfort knowing he is a special Angel now smiling down upon you.
ReplyDeleteHi Renee! Thank you very much for your input. it is still hard but each day I relish the memories..I am comforted with that thought..that he is up there smiling and free of any pain. You are indeed right, I think of him every single day. I am very much like him and in my little habits, he manifests himself. He will always be my hero. Im sure you miss your folks too even it has been that long ago. My father in law lost his dad too just a month before I lost mine. He said time will dull the pain but the memories will always be there and it will give me a reason to smile=)
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