Jun 8, 2011

Daily thoughts - In the name of "love"

June 1st is kind of memorable to me since it was that day, a year ago, when I left my job overseas to come home and take care of my sick Dad. A couple of people dissuaded me on my decision but no job or opportunity is more important than my Dad. Im not a hero to do what I did. Just a grateful daughter to a kind, selfless and wonderful father. The truth is, despite being financially unstable at that time, I took the risk and moved home. When I look back, I have some regrets, not for leaving my job in Singapore but for not having left sooner. 4 months was not enough, I just didnt know how bad things were until I got here.

A week ago on the same day, I went to see a movie with a good friend of mine and who is also now my pediatrician. NOpe she isnt some old lady twice my age. We are actually the same age. I sought her help since I ll be needing a number of vaccinations required for my upcoming trip. My friend and I had a good dinner at Max's and we later went out for a movie. We watched a tagalog flick titled In the name of Love. I havent seen a Filipino film (in wide screen) in a long time and I was glad this one we didnt suck at all. It was a good to go out and have fun for awhile. I just realized I havent seen a movie in the wide screen since June of last year.

It has been 8 months since my Dad passed away and although i feel the pain sometimes, Im happy that lately I have slowly come to terms with my dad's death. I still miss him everyday of course but I have accepted that he is gone and I have to move on with my life and cherish the time i spent with him when he was around.

I was a basket case for the past months. I didnt even go to the beach or take a trip out of town. I was too busy feeling sad and guilty and kept mostly to myself. It was not a good way to really deal with the loss, in fact its kinda pathetic now when i think of it. but it was a cathartic. I got tired of it soon enough. during that time I resorted to running as my outlet. Sometimes Id also draw, read a book or watch dvds. Another thing that kept me going was taking care of so many animals in our house. Its hard to be sad when youre always thinking of how to feed such a multitude of animals!

In my room are my 4 cats,Dapper, Thumper, Enchong and Boomer.
Downstairs are the 4 mainstay cats Maki, Squid, Pretty and Glory
Next door (my brother's cats) they have 4 cats namely Pepper, Dalja, Gibor and C2. They feed their pets and I occasionally give some kibbles when I come to visit.
A previously owned, adopted out but came back to our house cat named Eggnog. Then the 4 dogs namely Murgeet, Arnold, Yubby and Docman.

So in total im caring for 17 animals.

Several months ago, I was looking forward to really leaving soon. But now that Im aware that the trip is just a couple of months away, I feel a pang of sadness.

I have grown fond of the pets in the house. Honestly its not easy on my wallet to feed all of them since im currently self employed. But I find great joy seeing them get all excited when its time to eat. Its kinda crazy thought that the 4 cats downstairs like to camp outside my door and would cry in the morning when they know its feeding time. These 4 cats also like to walk in between my legs while I go down the stairs. I almost tripped on one of them bastards one time.

I cook rice everyday for all the animals. Id usually give them whatever Im having for lunch too. Sometimes it would be canned sardines,noodles,leftover soup and veggies. Buying them kibbles all that time is impractical if I want to feed all of them. So the kibbles is meant for days I am too lazy to cook. I have recently given up using kitty litter too and I am now using newspaper for the cats' litter box. Newspaper is surprisingly fantastic. It seems to work well as long as I replace the soiled paper right away. Plus now, the savings I get from not buying kitty litter goes towards the animals food.

I have been walking the dogs every week at least 2-3x. When I do run, the two younger dogs Yubby and Docman would follow me around. Im amazed at their endurance. If I run for 5-6 miles, they run for the same amount of time. I would take Murgeet and my brother's dog Arnold for walks/runs sometimes too. The younger dogs are not on a leash so they can join me anytime they please. With Murgeet or Arnold, I have to alot some time to take them out. Despite the harsh condition Murgeet endured for the past few months, its unbelievable how sweet and kind she is. She is always excited to see me, whether I have food or not. Im happy I stepped in and sort of semi adopted her. But now I feel sad when I think of whats going to happen to her when I leave.

I love all of the animals but unfortunately I cannot bring all of them with me. I do dread leaving them behind without any sure owner who would take care of them. So now aside from me worrying about getting my 4 cats'shots, health certificates, having Enchong's balls whacked off, I have to also worry of finding someone who would be willing to take care of the other pets. I am hoping Id find someone responsible and willing to love these animals. I know it may sound like an impossible mission considering I have 3 months to do it, but I will try my best. I dont want to get rid of the animals by just giving them away to anyone. I am hopeful and praying...

The cat noobs.
C2
Gibor
Dalja
Pepper - the mom
Yubby - Murgeet's puppy

The dogs

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1 comment:

  1. I hope you're able to find someone that's willing to take care of them properly. There's a difference between having an animal and caring for one. A lot of people don't understand that and take on animals that they're not really willing to take care of. They do it to have something to show off, in the case of animals with a preferred breed, or to guard a property, but rather than giving them the attention and care they deserve, they're neglected except in regards to how they fulfill that purpose. That's inhumane.

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