Daily thoughts- Fair weather friends and lovers..not worth it.

a couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine just told me about a predicament he was in. he is seeing a girl who he thinks is "the one". everything seemed fine until he lost his job and had no choice but to rely on her. Initially it was her idea, he wasnt really keen on "sponging off" of the girl, he just felt it kinda went against his principles. But the girl seemed to really want him to stick around and let her foot the bill until he manages to get on his own feet. at that time it seemed to be the most plausible arrangement. Besides she claims she really loves him.

So he decided to stay, thinking it really was okay. Unfortunately, it wasnt that easy to find a job. the days stretched into weeks, and finally a month. Thats when she started whining. she suddenly came up with excuses like she has to save money and has to remit to her family yada yada yada. she let out this long dramatic monologue about how it hurts her that she cant help her family. In short, she was actually fed up with him having to rely on her..yes after a MONTH.

I couldnt believe it either. I had to ask my friend whether the girl was probably sending money to a family member who was sick and badly needed help financially. But no, that wasnt the case. The girl simply felt guilty she wasnt able to put away money especially at this time of her life that she can afford it. WOW. I didnt even want to comment. To pour more salt to my friends' wounds, she even lightly hinted that he probably would have saved a lot of money too if he hadnt lost his job.

OUCH. Right through the heart and the groin as well. I cant even imagine saying that to a man..especially a man I CLAIM TO LOVE.

It could have been the perfect opportunity to show and prove that their LOVE could weather any adversity. especially a minor crisis as this one.

I felt really sad..for my friend. He found a woman who was going to be there only when things looked up for her.

It was sad to witness that there was an expiration date for kindness and generosity in their relationship.. money mattered more than the special thing they had going. she didnt trust that he would eventually find a way, and just supported him anyway at least for a few months more, without doubt or pressure.

The good news now is he finally found a job.

and now i see they are both "happy". of course, things are in their favor. everything is again hunky dory.

Not so long ago, I met a man and we had a tough time during our first few years of married life. It was hard but worth it. We never discussed the issue of who is giving more in the relationship (in terms of money). In fact it was that experience that brought us closer and made us appreciate everything we have now. We learned to be more practical and grateful. MOst of all it made us realize who truly are our real friends.

It never crossed my mind that there should be a timeline for generosity. If  someone asked me even, question, i would have been very insulted.

In my opinion, if you love someone, it would never even be an issue. the moment it becomes, then its already over. just my 2 cents.

Daily thoughts - A long distance love affair

it has been several months now since i moved to nyc. so far im really having a blast. im enjoying the sights the food and everything else that ive been dying to experience from the time i started watching the show sex and the city a decade ago. im always in awe of the new things i see everyday.


ive gotten quite spoiled in fact because they do have a lot of good restaurants here. i dont remember a day that i never went without a good dessert. every weekend i get to also go out and do a little shopping. I try to live within my limits though and im saving so I can move to my own apartment.

it has been really great all in all and i cannot really complain. there are a lot of reasons why NYC is the number one destination for tourists who go to the USA.

but living the comfortable life here hasnt stopped me from thinking of the cats i left behind in the philippines. technically they arent all my cats but i grew fond of them while i stayed there temporarily before permanently moving here. 3 of those cats i left behind are going to join me here soon. my main issue now is what s going to happen to the rest?

im terrified and upset to even think about it. right now im in the middle of  trying to extend the cats' stay at my family's house. not everyone share my sentiment in keeping the animals and honestly i dont really have control over that. im million miles away and if they decide to get rid of the cats, all i can do is cry and be really sad over it. i just love those cats. in fact i send money every month for their food and litter. im even planning to send in extra to pay the help who cleans my room because my blind cat boomer lives there for now.

the 3 cats im getting are in a way "safe". because my brother knows im getting them very soon.  but the rest of the housecats arent so. their "lease" is about to expire. and that is something ive been trying to not think of for the past few months. however i knew this issue will pop up sooner or later.

so im planning to blog about it until i hopefully find a home for the other cats. i believe that somehow one kind soul may share the same love i have for these animal. and if by some great chance that good samaritan may even want to share their home with at least one of these cats.

until then, i wont stop trying.

Daily thoughts- A memorable Memorial Day and long weekend!

It was my first time to spend Memorial Day in the USA. I had to look up what this day meant because I couldnt just celebrate it and enjoy the holiday without at least knowing the story behind it.

As the link mentioned Memorial Day is a day of remembering the men and women who died while serving in the United States Armed Forces.

I have great respect for soldiers especially those who have given up or lost their lives fighting for their country. My paternal and maternal grandfathers are both soldiers and so is my eldest brother. My husband is a veteran and so is his Dad and his grandfather. My bestfriend of 26 years and her husband are both from the US Army too. I just find men (even women) in uniform to be rare courageous beings and I have a high regard for them. Not to mention I think they are also sexy. lolz.

Anyway, we spent the Memorial Day at home. I had a reason to be lazy and to pig out. Good food abound!

Deviled eggs

the bbq came out really good

loved this burger

I wont take credit for anything that was prepared that day. I just sliced the tomatoes and onions. Also not in this photo was an apple pie we bought from whole foods the day before the holiday. It was so good I had seconds. The next day I had breakfast and also got another slice of pie.

I  look forward to spending more holidays celebrated in this country, people go out of their way to cook good food.  And of course I also enjoy the time spent hanging out with family. im really passionate about that, family and of course eating.

I went overboard also with my passion for food by pretending I wanted to eat my cat Dapper. She didnt like it too much.

awwwwww

Daily thoughts - Pulling an Office "Spacey"

Two of my favorite movies are Office Space and American Beauty.

Scenes from Office Space:

  

Ive seen this movie a couple of times but I never get tired of watching it coz it never fails to crack me up. A funny take on hating one's job. I can totally relate. I held a job once that I hated so much it would get me into bouts of depression. I had alopecia (localized hair loss), unexplained dermatitis and constant hyperacidity. When the company later fired me, it seemed more a favor than a punishment. I felt so happy and relieved. Why do we stay in these kind of jobs? Reason is quite obvious. Its not that we are troopers or masochists. We need money.

It isnt that easy to quit a job. A job that sucks still beats zero. Passion and good intentions or even LOVE cannot pay the bills. 

Money is the only currency that speaks a universal language in the world of retail. Bills have to be paid and sadly most of the time, we have to swallow our pride. We have to drag ourselves to work each day, because at this point we dont have a choice..yet. We know realism cannot be ignored and we have to set aside our idealism (temporarily)and consider what is practical now. 

But that doesnt mean we should stop learning or exploring.. or looking...We must continue to upgrade ourselves. We should never cease to be informed and educated. I believe in staying employed until you find another job that may be more promising. 

My idea is this, instead of letting your employer exploit you, consider it the other way around. They pay you, in exchange for the work you dofor them, but at the same time, it hones your skills too. You never know, one day you will be so good in your job that when you leave, your shoes will be a large one to fill. 

And when youre gone and moved on to your dream job, who will realize the loss? you wouldnt care. You would be too happy in your new job the past wouldnt even matter. Until then. just keep smiling and earning=) 

And here is a favorite scene from American Beauty, with my favorite actor Kevin Spacey.  

How I gloat on the thought that one the day I could muster the courage to also say...Adios assholes!

Daily thoughts - In pursuit of finding the elusive "Tabo"

I understand that habits die hard, be it good or bad.  I was able to give up smoking. Not easy but it was worth chucking a nasty habit like that. But there are habits or rather rituals among Filipinos that are simply not that easy to "undo". One of which is using a water dipper or "tabo".

I read somewhere when in rome, do as the Romans do. In that story a guy almost lost (he actually lost and got his job back though) his job when he used a water dipper after relieving himself (doing a number 2) in the comfort room at work. Id hate to be caught in the same predicament though. I prefer not to wash my ass elsewhere except in the comfort of my own bathroom.

One thing I noticed when I got here was how hard it was to find a water dipper. I looked it up online, checked bed bath and beyond and even the chinatown stores. I couldnt find a single decent tabo. Ranting about it on Facebook incited a flurry of hilarious reactions and not so violent comments though. One of my friends from NJ even said, "THEY DONT DO THAT OVER HERE!" which just cracked me up. Nevertheless, I still looked around to find one despite my husband's relentless effort to make me give up the idea.

Then this (photo below) came in the mail from my friend who lives in California. According to her, there is a lot of Filipino stores near where she lives. I was so touched. This TABO is brand new of course (Lolz) and it came with a bunch of Pinoy goodies like chicharon, nagaraya, tamarind candies and chocnut! My friend is awesome and wonderfully UNDERSTANDING

my precious pink tabo

And sometimes when the heat is out and we dont have hot water, my husband (who initially was so against the idea of having a "tabo" in the house), is obviously happy we have one of these to use in the shower. That is when we do the manual dip and pour with the bucket. Either that or he can be Proud and use cold water in taking a bath. Pride never wins when Hot water is involved. A hot shower always will prevail and thank God we have my pretty pink tabo to the rescue. hehehe

Daily thoughts : Jessica Sanchez has left me in awe and in tears

I dont normally watch American Idol every time its aired on tv. But this season I cant help but make sure I do. I am keeping tabs on a young contestant named Jessica Sanchez. I admit it has something to do with the fact that she is partly Filipino. Im really very proud of her. However the reason I am rooting for this kid is obviously because she HAS talent. Anyone who has been watching the past American Idol rounds would know that.

And yet, despite that amazing talent, she almost got booted out. An incident that led to a controversial and probably an unforgettable stint by the judges (Tyler, Lopez and Jackson) that would further cement Jessica's image as a star who deserves to be "saved". Jackson in fact quipped "she is one of the best singers in America".

This season for american idol is really very engaging because its like the producers the rounded up the best young talents in the land and put them all in this season's contest. Not that the previous Idols werent as good, its just the fact that majority of the contenders this time around are so young and yet are so good. I love Jessica Sanchez but I have a feeling this Idol will be won by another contestant that I particularly like, Southern hottie Phillip Phillips.

I have to say the rest of the contestants are all very amazing. They seem to have their own flair for singing. Skylar Laine never fails to impress me because she is electrifying for someone that young. I also like listening to her because her country style is not something I grew up listening to. Its interesting. Joshua Ledet has a unique style that I cant quite put my finger on it. He also seem to choose the perfect song that goes well with his voice. Then there is Hollie, a tiny girl with a big powerful voice just like Jessica.

I dont know who will win this season.Idol tends to really come up with the best promising artists. But its also apparent that its a popularity contest. Also correct me if Im wrong but most winners hail from the Southern part of the USA. not that Im saying that people from that part of the country arent good, I just think its not a coincidence anymore. If you win the south, you with the contest I guess. The same goes if you must come from the south and you can justify your talent, you are more likely to garner more votes.


Its not a sad thing though. A lot of Idol finalists still managed to make it big even they didnt win the final prize (Jennifer Hudson, Katharine McPhee, Adam Lambert).

Well whatever happens, I wish the best for these young artists. They are all so awesome.

Jessica's rendition of a Luther Vandross song that just left me amazed and a little grief stricken. this one hits home... I miss my Dad. I miss watching singing contests with him and betting who is gonna win.

Daily thoughts - Wonderweekend!

I spent the last 2 consecutive weekends strolling around the park, checking out the library and pigging out with my sweetie. We ate out at Boka Bon Chon and had waffle for dessert.

Twas an awesome weekend.

Let the photos do the talking.

i feel guilty taking this photo. i didnt even give the little guy any privacy.

And of course the meal

Sweetie also got me these cute orange sunglasses.